Pirates!
by Pimpernelunderthecelticmoon
Summary: Erik is bored, again, and now in a lair...lab. Syen makes a dramatic entrence, and Lahz is a hero. Chapter 8 is up! RR
1. Default Chapter

PIRATES!

Disclaimer: I do not own all of the weird RANDOM things I mention in the crazy fic. Except nice M-L-T's mutton, lettuce and tomatoes, when the mutton is nice and lean, and the tomatoes ripe, it's so perky, I love that.

"Pirates!" cried Erik jumping franticly into his gondola, "Christine! Pirates!" he called once more. "Don't be an idiot Erik; there are no pirates in the lake."

"You think!" he yelled back. Christine laughed, and walked into the lair. Erik sighed and looked up; no he couldn't be imaging it. Right in front of him stood a tall man, obviously a pirate. He had a hook on his left hand, and a very large hat. And in to middle of the lake sat 'The Jolly Roger.'

'_How the heck did that get in here?_' Erik thought, '_How the heck did it even fit?_'

"You! Emaciated man in the mask!" cried the man with the hook.

"Me?"

"Yes you." Erik walked forward. "I have run out of hostages on never land, and I am here to make you my proud and humble hostage." Erik looked at the pirate. '_No one has_ _ever paid so much attention to me._' Thought Erik, "I'll take it." Erik said while climbing aboard. "Good. I am Captain James Hook, and this is my ship. 'The Jolly Roger."

'_What a stupid name'_

A/N From now on when you see italics that's Erik talking, sorry for the interruption.

Far away from Erik, aimlessly going on 'The Jolly Roger' without even a fight a boy was babysitting a group of little children, with over sized feet. "And we shall all be happy too, as long as we always remember there's a place called the hundred acre woods, and a bear called 'Winnie the Pooh.'" He closed the book and rubbed his eyes. "More, more!" called all of the hobbit children, for that are what they obviously were. "Look." Said the boy, "I've read you everything from Les-Miserables to Spot!" the children began to walk away weeping. A few sparkling rays appeared. "Blue fairy." The boy said talking to the blue fairy that had just appeared. "When I wished to go to middle earth, I didn't know I would have to baby-sit." The fairy laughed, "Jim Hawkins! What did you expect! All evil has been destroyed, and know Middle Earth is just a happy land where you can giggle with the littlest elf." Jim sighed. "But the books were so cool."

"You sure area a fool." Came a deep Turkish voice. Jim turned; there standing aloft a hilltop was the tallest man Jim had ever seen. "Who are you?" Jim asked, "Boo, hoo." The blue fairy smiled, "This is Fezzick, and he's a Turkish giant from 'The Princess Bride.'"

"I think I read that for school." Jim said looking at Fezzick curiously. "You have been ordered by Elrond of Rivendell to be present at a meeting."

"Why?"

"Pie."

That's all for now! Please review, if you want to be a character in the story, please just say so in your review!


	2. Enjy, The Ship, and The Bored Fairy

Enjy, The ship, and a Bored Fairy

Disclaimer: I do not own Les-Miserables, Peter Pan, and The Phantom of the Opera, Lord of the Rings, Treasure Island, The Princess Bride, or Pinocchio.

A/N Thankyou Syen so much for letting me put you in my fan fic. I hope u like where I put you! Thanks also to Mizamour for reviewing, you're awesome!

Enjolras rubbed his eyes in extreme boredom, yet Granter talked on, and on, and on. "I hate mankind." Mumbled the drunkard. 'I hate Grantair I hate Grantair.' Enjolras thought as he blabbered on about girls, the library, wasting ink, gulps of beer Bankers, and whatever else worked its way into his deranged mind. Straitening out his vest Enjolras stood up, and triumphantly walked out of the room. "Good gosh!" he screamed into the night.

A/N I know I know, this part in the book happened during the day, and Enjolras wasn't there, but hey! Give me a break.

He was beginning to hate the idea of the Republic, besides what was freedom with Grantair around. Suddenly around the corner of the Rue came a girl. She was doing the happy hip dance and humming 'The Sponge Bob Square Pants' theme song. "Um…" Enjolras said as she stopped. "Who are you?"

"Me, why do you want to know." Enjolras shrugged, bored, bored, and bored. Why was everyone bored?  
"Well I'm Syen…

Erik examined the poop deck of the ship. "So Captain, why do they call it the poop deck? I mean I don't want to be rude, but between you and me, it's a little…" he tapped his head in order the mean, insane.

"I don't know why they called it that! WILL YOU JUST SHUT UP!" First it had been whats Hem-e-lee, that it was what's a mainsail, why is there a book of Horatio Hornblower in the prison, what's a 24 caliber canon, why was it stronger that a 15. Literally it was driving him crazy. 'Well Pan will have his hands full when he pays for this freak!' James thought.

"Land Ho!" called Nibler.

"Excellent!" James called back, "Now to get rid of this pesky French."

Jim, Fezzick and The Blue Fairy trudged along threw Buckland. Fezzick was doing rhymes which Jim seemed to enjoy immensely. "There's a tree!"

"Looks like a bee."

"No I think it looks like a flea."

"Yeah, but what about me?"

"I'd rather count to three."

"Would you like to eat a pea?"

"No, I'd rather have some tea."  
"I could kill thee."

"I'm sure you could but I'd rather have a key."

"Would you do a Hem-e-lee?"

"What?"

"That didn't rhyme!"

"Huh?"

"What?"

"What?"

"Huh?"

"SHUT UP!" Jim and Fezzick turned. "Look," The fairy said, "you've been doing this for hours. Isn't there anything else we can do?"

"Play with a shoe." Said Fezzick Triumphantly.

"No wonder Pinocchio fired her." Jim whispered in Fezzick's ear.

"When will we be in Rivendell?" The fairy asked.

"As soon as we get to a well." Fezzick replied.

"Ug!"


	3. Pan, Elaine, and the insane elf

Pan, Elaine, and the Insane Elf

Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this fic, I wouldn't want to own anyone either, except Gwian, I'm pretty intent on Gwian.

Erik looked as the shipped flew towards 'Neverland'. "Oh, Captain!" Erik said inching his way towards the pirate, "Why is it so, so small, after all, I always heard that 'Neverland' was a dream come true. But my dream is to have a house like everybody else, and to have a wife like everybody else, and to take her out on Sundays." James blinked, "To take her out on _Sundays_?" Erik nodded proudly, James shook his head. "So you see," Erik continued, "This is not my dream, in fact I don't see any houses at all, and no marvelous ladies, and defiantly no, no, and none, restaurants. Like Denny's I love Denny's!" James ignored Erik for a while thinking of his master plan, Pan would want to save this unfortunate freak, and all he would have to do is tell him where he lived, simple, pure and simple. GENUIS! The boat slowly skimmed the water before stopping in the middle of the bay. James strutted up to a megaphone which was lying, very carelessly on a barrel. "Pan!" he yelled out, "I have a hostage! A helpless captive, a Hopeless prisoner! So you better come down RIGHT now and help him!" nothing happened, Erik blinked, "I'm not helpless, or hopeless." He burst into tears, "I thought you liked me!" he whined, falling to his knees he held on to the Captains coat, "I thought you thought I was witty! Funny!" He blew his nose on the fleece, "I thought you felt sorry for poor Erik!"

"Good gosh!" mumbled Hook looking at the pathetic French groveling at his not phlegm covered jacket. "PAN!" he called once more, "Rid me of this thing!" as he said this boy flew out of the trees and landed on the deck…

"Rivendell!" Jim called running ahead, "Alls well!" said Fezzick chasing after him. "Oh, H#&(&&," mumbled the fairy. Fezzick stopped.

"She swore!" Jim didn't stop.

"Who cares!" they continued running, except Blue, who flew, I can rhyme too, hehe

Rivendell was gorgeous, with the water falls and all. And they made their way to the very last house. Fezzick knocked. "Hello." Said a blonde elf, Jim was dazzled by the blonde hair, and beautiful hair. Fezzick nudged him, "Oh," he sputtered, "Lord Elrond called us, he said it was an emergency." The elf looked very relieved. "You must be here about Legolas, the fiend." Fezzick and Jim glanced at one another. "Come in, come in." they followed the grinning elf. He led them into a lovely hall, where at the end sat a frowning elf sitting glumly in his seat. "Lord Elrond." The blondey said bowing very low, "The giant, the fairy, and the human boy are here to tract down Lego…."

"Do not utter that name!" Elrond cried.

"Yes, my Lord." The latter left.

"Now," said Elrond standing up, "I have a mission that you must complete."

"Yes sir." Jim said.

"Three months ago, a hobbit of the Shire named Frodo Baggins came here with 'The Ring of Power.' I assigned nine companions to go with Frodo and destroy it. They were Aragorn son of Arathorn, Gimli son of Gloin, Bormeir sp? son of Denethor, and an evil elf, whose name I will not utter here. The other ones volunteered.

"Well I have just gotten word the elf," Elrond uttered elf with much malice, "has abandoned the Fellowship!" Blue gasped, Jim stared in horror, Fezzick bent over and muttered, "Ship." In Jim's ear.

"Yes abandoned them." Elrond continued, "He received an invitation to a convention of people with Angel Hair, but our spies have now informed us that this "Convention" is really a trick form evil Plankton, to catch all the witless chick magnets!" Elrond wiped his brow. "Well do you accept the mission?" Jim nodded.

"What's a Syen?" Enjolras asked, looking at the girl.

"What's a Syen! It's me! I'm a Syen! What the fang! You twit!" Enjolras surveyed the girl, she had dark hair and glasses, and freckles, my gosh, she was wearing shorts and a T. shirt! How scandalous! "Hey um-Enjolras?" Syen said waving her hands, "My friend Pimpernel, the author of this strange fic, asked my to stop you from jumping the Seine, because," she said wagging her finger, "That place is strictly for Javert." Enjolras was a bit speechless. "Now, I am supposed to convince that there is something good and beautiful in life. But the question is how am I going to do that with a stuck up revolutionary?" Enjolras blushed.

"Well, why don't you tell me a story where bad prevails over good?"   
"Why the fang would I want to do that?" It was hard for Enjolras to explain,

"Just do it." Syen rolled her hazel eyes.  
"Fine, just don't be so dumb about it. I'll tell you 'King Arthur' evil wins in the end of that right?"

Syen's style of King Arther

Once upon a time is some place, I could care less, there was some kid named Arther, that I don't remember how but he pulled some dumb sword out of some rock and he became king. Well he started the Knights of the Round Table. The were Gwian, That's pimpernel's darling, Gareth, that's Maidenhair's darling, Percival, whose Gwain's son, but he doesn't come in till later. And Kay, whose Arthur's step brother, Baylan and Ballan, who kill one another, and the idiot Lancelot. Now King Arthur is like way too long, so I'm going to tell you the story of Elaine, because then you'll know about Galahad and all that crud. Well Elaine fell in love with Lancelot, but Lancelot won't marry anyone, because he's in love with Genevieve, that's Arthur's wife. Well, Elaine pretends to be Guinevere, and…Do you know the poem 'The Lady of Shallot'? Enjolras nodded. "Well that's Elaine, well Elaine has a baby, and his name is Galahad, and he saves everyone blah, blah, blah. Couldn't I tell you Physiology for dummies instead?

"No." Enjolras said, Syen shrugged her shoulders. "Well Elaine dies of grief and is laid in a boat and washes down the river. THE END

"Wait." Enjolras said, "Is that really how it ends, she dies pinning over Lancelot?"

"Yep."

"Gosh." Enjolras said.

"What?" said Syen, "Gotta crush?"

"So what if I do!" Enjolras exploded.

"You know, you could meet her." Enjolras brightened,

"How?" Syen smiled and pulled out of her purple shorts pocket a remote control. "I stole it form Cosmo." She pulled out a little T.V. from the book bag on her shoulder, "Now she said flipping channels, "Aw, here we are." She T.V. stopped with the a beautiful girl walking on the side of the river….

Well, what do you think so far? If anyone would like to be in it, besides Syen, feel free just to ask! Maidenhair, you're coming in the next chapter darl'in!


	4. Indians, Shalott, and the Figure in Blac...

Indians, Shalott, and the Figure in Black

Pan was a boy of about fourteen. He was dressed in leaves, which Erik found disgusting. He was very busy talking to the captain, so Erik decided to take out his portable C.D. player and play his favorite music.

"_Star light express! Star light Express… Only you! Have the power to move me! And together we make the whole world move in sympathy!"_

Erik sang along, his voice, which resembled the god of thunder, echoed along with the annoying lyrics. "ERIK!" James yelled, "I NEED YOU!" the player immediately disappeared, and Erik strolled over to the Captain. "It appears that Pan here doesn't want you." Erik looked at the little boy, "So you have a choice, get thrown to the crocodile," He shuddered with the word, "Or be a human canon ball, and then get thrown to the crocodile." Erik sniffed, why didn't this boy like him? He was so likable, maybe? "B-but why?" Erik asked, "Why doesn't he want me?" James shrugged, and turned to Pan. The boy looked intently, then muttered, "Remove your mask." Erik was struck, as stiff and a corpse, "no, no, you don't want to see what's under that, it's gross, fowl, I mean…I'm so handsome that you'd fall dead in your tracks."

"And rot," Pan finished, "Very likely,"

"DON"T DO IT!" Erik screamed as Pan reached forward to pull of his mask, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP.

"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAWAWAWAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!" Erik screamed. Pan shrugged, "Nah, he's too ugly." And with that he flew away. Erik sighed. There was nothing left for him now…wait. He pulled out his C.D. player,

"_It's over now the music of the night!"_

"Wrong song." Erik switched C.D's.

"_Somewhere over the rainbow! Way up high! There's a land that I heard of once in a lullaby."_

Erik sighed, it was so beautiful. **_RING!_** Erik jumped.

"Oh, excuse me." James said, "That's just my cell phone. Pardon while I take this call?" Erik nodded, thinking how stupid it had been of him not to bring HIS cell phone. "Erik?" The captain said, "That was the chief, he wants to buy you for their annual hunt."

"Their annual what!"

"Their annual hunt, you see, every year they take the ugliest guy in town, and run him out on a rail, then hunt for him until he's good and dead. And they want you!"

Erik fainted….

Enjolras looked through the fog which shrouded everything. He couldn't see much, and all he could hear was Syen chowing on Pirate booty. "Look at all this fogdge!" she said, "It's gnarly."

"Gnarly or not," Enjolras said, "I can't see anything." Syen shrugged.

"Tough." Enjolras sighed and looked about, there! No, wait…yes! There in the fog stood a gorgeous girl. She was barefoot, and wore a flowy white gown.

"Elaine?" he called.

"Sorry." Came the answer, "I'm Anne Cathrick."

"Oh," he said, and trudged along. Then emerging from the miasma came a lovely lady, she was reciting poetry:

_Heard a carol mournful holy, _

_Chanted loudly, chanted lowly, _

_Till her blood was frozen slowly, _

_And her eyes were darkened wholly. _

_Turned to towered Camelot…_

"Elaine?" he asked once more.

"yes." She said.

"I've been searching for you, I…"

"Oh Marshank!" yelled a voice which was obviously Syen, "I lost my flip flop in the mud!" Enjolras rolled his eyes, and Elaine giggled. "Well, would you like to leave Shalott?"

"Leave Shalott!" It's my dream come true! After Lancelot ditched me, and left a perfect child for me to raise I've been mad, and then this Tennyson guy, wrote a pack of lies about me, AND 8th GRADERS HAVE BEEN MEMORIZING IT EVER SINCE!" Enjolras understood the outburst, he was about to do that when Grantair was bugging him. "Syen!" Enjolras called, "Set that thing for Paris!"

"Whatever." She said. Paris appeared. Enjolras kissed Elaine, and she got a thrill. But as they were about to walk through, Syen accidentally clicked the wrong button.

"B-B-Barbarian! B-B-BARBAIN!" came a loud voice; Enjolras looked at the cartoon world, "SYEN! What did you do?"

Syen gave an embarrassed grin, "Sorry, I think I sent us to one of my favorite cartoons."

"And what might that be!" Enjolras yelled over the resonance of the theme song.

"Dave the barbarian?" Syen answered.  
"SYEN!" Enjolras yelled. Running over the cartoon world came a figure, but it was real like them. "HELP!" she yelled, "I"VE BEEN STUCK ON THIS CARTOON FOR YEARS!" a girl came gasping in front on them.

"Who are you?" Elaine asked, ecstatic about seeing another sane female.

"Me?" she said trying to catch her breath, "I'm Mizamour."

"It's dark." Fezzick said as they trudged along following a map which Elrond had given them. "Bark." Jim said.

"Lark." Blue said, finally deciding to join in, "Look," she said, "This is _great_ and all, but we're lost. NO one knows how to read those ruins!" Jim sighed, she was right and they all knew it. Out of the dark, jumping off of the wall by them was a form. "I'll show you the way." it said. In awe Jim said, "Who are you?"

"None of your business!" said the girl voice, "Just call me _Lahz_."

Sorry this is short! Please review


	5. Mizmour, Jochoio, and Legolas

Mizamour, Jonochi, and Legolas

Disclaimer: Hey! I've already done like 3, RING! Oh my cell! Hello, Jim? Oh, yes, no, um-NO YOU INDIOT! Sorry, the things he thinks of. I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO A BARNEY SHOW DOWN! Sheesh, sorry outburst. If anyone else would like to be in this fic, just give me a holler.

"Oh, my dear!" Elaine said to Mizamour, "Who sent you in here?" Mizamour took a few deep breaths and continued, "Two years ago in the mountains of Tibet I met a strange figure. He was rather bent, and very old. Well, he said he could send me to a place where my dreams would come true, and he sent me in a cartoon." Mizamour sighed. Till she looked up and said, "Where's Enjolras?"

"Syen!" Enjolras screamed, "YOU sent me and MY true LOVE to and INSANE land! WITH BARBARINS! CAN"T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT!" Syen put on a giddy smile, "Well nine out of ten is worth two fifths of a tree, tree, tree, tree, how does it feel to have feelings? Lalala! All the way home, Toodles!" She skipped away. Enjolras was so frustrated he was about to tear his hair out, ha-ha that rhymed! I'm a poet, and you didn't know it. Aye? Mizamour came running and met Syen, "Syen?" they asked, "Where's Enjy?" Syen smiled and said,

"Over yonder." They went running. Enjolras was throwing rocks aimlessly over a hill, "Can you believe it!" he yelled as the girls came up, "No I can't." Elaine said.

"Well I can." Mizamour answered with a smile, "It's not soooo bad here, I mean it's tolerable." At this moment a stampede of strange bugs plowed them over.

"That's it! Syen! Come over here!" Syen did come skipping over the hill happily, "Get over here! RIGHT NOW!" Elaine and Mizamour stood up and stared at Syen.

"Look who I found!" Syen said, as they looked up they saw a very muscular man, "Everyone I would like you to meet Dave!"

Erik's mouth pretty much hit the ground, James led Erik though the jungle explaining the rules, "The Indians will count to 12, and at 12 they'll look for you, so run for your life, good luck Mr…Excuse me sir, I never got your last name." Erik blinked; _do I have a last name?_ "Um-I am known as Erik um-Trapdoor lover. Yeah that's it!"

"Um-okay, Mr. Trapdoorlover…"

"It's one word."

"Ug- Mr. Trapdoor lover, I wish you well." Erik smiled sheepishly,

"Thanks a lot."

"Oh, you're welcome." James smiled, waved his hooked hand and disappeared.

A/N Sorry to all you Captain Hook fans out there, he's gone for good, Sorry. But make way for a much cooler replacement in the next chapter!

Erik ran like mad, Indians closing in around him. To comfort himself he began to sing his debut over and over again, "insolent boy, that slave of fashion basking in your glory!" again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again! He ran past mermaid lagoon, he ran past Cannibal cove, and he ran like mad next to dead man's tree. Four Indians circled about him with tomahawks, singing the ancient song, "Kill the freak! Kill the freak!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Erik yelled.

"AWWAWAWAWAWAWAWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" came a call, everyone looked up swinging through the trees was a girl.   
"AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" Erik screamed, "I'll save you!" she called, swooping down she picked him up and swung away. "You know," Erik said, "For a minute there I thought I was a goner." The girl smiled, "Well I read all about you on fan fiction, so I decided to come and rescue you!"

"Aw, that's nice." Erik said, "Where are you taking me?"

"Well…." the girl said, and smiled, "Hehe, silly me, hadn't thought of that." Erik sighed,

"My life gets worse and…"  
"AWWW" the girl screamed, "THE VINE IS BREAKING!" then, the vine snapped….

"Who names there kid laws?" Jim asked.

"L-A-H-Z, Lahz, not laws! Sheesh! And it's a penname dunderhead!" the girl in black muttered something, and kept going. "We're looking for Legolas right?" Jim asked.

"Duh." Lahz answered. "And we should find him HERE!" she said.

"Um-"said Jim,

"Aw," Fezzick said,

"It's…" Blue said,

"A brick wall." Lahz said calmly, "But it's behind the brick wall, here put these on." She said handing them cloaks.

"What are these?" Jim asked,

"Freeze." Fezzick whispered,

"I stole them form Hogwarts, they'll turn you invisible." With that she poked the wall with a stick, and it opened. "Cool." Whispered an invisible Jim. The sign said, 'Convention for people with angel hair'. "Look." Lahz whispered, "There he is!" and sure enough, sitting at a table, right in front of a very evil looking plankton sat Legolas.


	6. Reviews

**I would like to acknowledge all of my reviewers! **

**LoTRreader1: Yay! As soon as I put on the next chapter you will be famous! Can I have your autograph, takes invisible autograph AWESOME! **

**LoTRreader1: I love making fun of Erik too! As you might be able to tell hehe**

**LoTRreader1: Well, it's fine that you like Leggy; I just can't stand Orlando Bloom, or is it the other way around. I mean he's fine and all, I just don't' like it when, well there was this girl who married her poster of Orlando Bloom, yeah, that's what I can't stand. But in the book he was cool. **

**Mizamour: I'm adding Valjean in chapter 6 in think, just for you! Let the wedding began! **

**Syen: This is my birthday song! I'm singing it just for you! And when I hit the gong, you'll know that my song is through! Hehe **

**Mizamour: Certainly I'll add Sam! He's my 3rd favorite hobbit, you'll think I'm insane, but my favorite is Bilbo, and it was so disappointing when he wasn't in LOTR that much, sigh **

**Jonochi: Well you saved Erik, YAY, now though he will have to be cured, read the next chapter and find out why! **

**Thessaly: Thanks so much for reviewing! I love Ann Cathrick, she soooo awesome! **

**Maidenhair: You bug me! You bug me! Your bug me! You bug me!**

**Mizamour: I always wondered what that guy in the island of dreams saw too! Clyde! WHY! Speaking of which, who names their kid Clyde Staples Lewis? It's a sentence! LOL **

**Syen: Hazzah, Huzzah, You got more of this fic! LOL**

**Syen: I'm purdy sure your like that, I mean I haven't seen you for 9 months… HAS IT REALLY BEEN NINE MONTHS! Goes into hysterics **

**Maidenhair: I do not wear a wig, you my dear may need one. **

**Mizamour: You're in it! Yay! Heck, this is my most popular fic! I haven't got a flame yet! Woo-woo!**

**Mizamour: Thankyou soooo much for reviewing so much! Your great!**

**Syen: What's your kitten's name again?**

**Lahz: What the heck does Ich bin gluchen mean? **

**Maidenhair: U BUG ME!**

**Mizamour: Thanks for reviewing, some day I hope to read your book! **

**Syen: You're the first to review congrats! **

**Maidenhair: Stop pretending to be other people! **


	7. Merlin, Dave, and The Admiral Ducky

Merlin, Dave, and The Admiral Ducky

Disclaimer: I do not own….What the heck I've already said this like counts on fingers to many times, and I don't own anything, except ONE DAY I WILL OWN A LITTLE RED HEN!

"AWWWWWWWW" Erik screamed as him and his rescuer hit the ground. "AWWWWWW!' Erik screamed once more, "I think I broke my arm!" The girl gasped, "Oh dear, that's awful!" Erik whined a bit as the girl attempted to out the wound in a splint, "Oh, Erik, I don't think I can do it! And they make it look so easy on T.V. Sheesh!" Erik squirmed.

"What will happen when they find me?" The girl didn't answer, "You know, I don't know your name?" the girl this time smiled,

"Jonochi, I'm from earth."  
"cool so am I!" Jonochi nodded,

"I think I knew that." she pause, "Do you have anything in your pockets?" Erik felt about, "Tons of junk why?"

"Well maybe you'll have something important that can get us out of here."

"OOOO, good thinking!" Erik emptied his pockets.

"Hmmmmmmm…" Jonochi said as she sorted threw the useless trash. "A bubble gum rapper, a card that says 'I am your angel of Music', an opera by Mozart…What's this?" she said picking up a small box.

"Ummm,"

"Don't open it Jonochi!" startled, Jonochi and Erik looked up to see a very old man, and a girl. "Why?"

"It's opium!" Erik gasped,

"How did you know that?" Erik said taking the box protectively.

"I read the book."

"Oh." Erik said, "What a minute they never say that in the book!" the old man sighed.

"If you must know, I am Merlin, and I know everything, such as the true color of Orlando Bloom's eyes, and what happened to Shane." The girl who had come with him looked up,

"What did happen to Shane Meri?"

"Well," Merlin began, "He rode majestically up the hill, and decided it would be dramatic if he rode down the other side. But as he did, his horse tripped, broke his leg and died. Being far too embarrassed to go back to the little town and ask for help he was reduced to wondering. As he was wondering across the desert without anything to eat he ran into a hermit named Remmy, now Remmy was a little on the insane side. One night, while Shane slept, Remmy was having a five way conversation with himself, and he unanimously decided that they should put Shane out of his misery. As Shane slept, dreaming of beautiful women, who could cook good flannel cakes, Remmy came out and STABBED HIM MERCISLLY IN THE BACK!" Merlin being out of breath from the story wiped his brow with his over-sized beard. "There now you know Maidenhair, oh I forgot to introduce, Jonochi, Erik, This is Maidenhair, my assistant."

"Hello…everyone." The very muscular Dave said timidly.

"Dave," Syen went on, "Had been hunting a strange Chuckles the Silly piggy, all be himself, isn't that brave!" Enjolras looked at them…Brave?

"Oh," Elaine said looking at Dave in amazement, "Oh," she said again, "I have never sen anyone so strong!" Enjolras looked at Elaine; he looked hurt, and flexed his muscled, okay, so maybe he was stronger than him, but so. Dave was not as brave as him. "Who is this Chuckle?" Elaine said moving closer to Dave, Mizamour stifled a laugh.

"Um-an evil villain…" Dave bit his finger nails. Elaine put her hand on Dave's arm,

"You are also so brave! Oh!" Enjolras felt even more hurt, okay so maybe Dave was fighting a villain, but he was fighting a Monarchy, wasn't that more brave?

"And all by yourself! You are the bravest man I know, or have ever known!" Enjolras felt numb, okay, so maybe he had the help of like a lot of people for this Barricade but…but…

Elaine linked arms with Dave, Dave shivered. Then simultaneously they said, "Date!" and strolled off together. "Aw, aren't they the perfect couple!" Syen said approvingly Mizamour put her hand on Enjolras's shoulder. "You okay?"

"Syen, clicked that thing you have anywhere you want."

"Sure." Syen pulled out the T.V. but as she clicked there was a red light, and a voice said. "You have a sad member of your party, according to the rules you have to bring in one member of their book to cheer them up." A raze of light came and suddenly there appear Jean Valjean…

"Now I am here!" cried the red eyed Plankton, "I shall introduce myself, 'Hi I am Plankton, I come from the sea, my best friend is no one, and my Arch enemy is Mr. Crabs' now you all do it, starting with you…" he pointed to Legolas.

"Oh, Hi I'm Legolas, I come from Mirkwood, my best friend is my reflection, and my arch enemy is Gimli."

"Next,"

"Hi, I'm Raoul, I come from Paris, my best friend is Christine, and my arch enemy in The Phantom of the Opera."

"Next,"

"Hi, I'm Wesley, I come from Floran, my best friend is Buttercup, and my arch-enemy is Prince Humperdink."

"Next,"

"Hi, I'm Cosmo! I'm a fairy! My best friend is Wanda and I'm friends with everyone!"

"Um-okay, next,"

"Hi, Dandelion, I live at Watership Down, um-my best friend is Hazel, and my arch enemy is General Woundwort."

"He's a rabbit!" Raoul yelled.

"I'm a Plankton, we shall not decimate against him." Raoul stared menaclingly at the rabbit. "Fine."

"Please, next."

"Hi all, I'm Zaphod Beeblebox, president of the galaxy, my best friend is Ford, he's my cousin, shares four of the same mothers I do, and my arch-enemy is Marvin, because he a we bit annoying." Now there was only one more,

"Hi, I'm Admiral Ducky! I come from earth, I'm a nit for Leggy, and I hate spinach!"

A/N Sorry Admiral Ducky! I don't know who your arch enemy is!

All this time Lahz, Jim, Fezzick, and Blue were rapped in the magic cloaks. "This is all very strange." Lahz said….

To be continued….

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	8. Valjean, Buckets, and Maidenhair

**Valjean, Buckets, and Maidenhair**

Disclaimer; Yo-ho, Yo-ho, a pirate's life for me!

Enjolras didn't even look up at the individual that had just come into their midst. "Where the world am I?" Valjean asked looking about, he saw a depressed blonde, with a vest. A hyper girl in, scandalous shorts, T shit and glasses. And a girl that looked like she was in complete awe. "You aren't in the world." Syen said grinning, "Your in a dibbun show that is totally awesome!"

Valjean blinked. Mizamour blushed, and sighed, "Oooooooo, Valjean is it really you!" Valjean gave her a frightened look, "Do you work for Javert!"

Mizamour laughed, "No, no, I'm your biggest fan!" She pulled out a notebook about 10 feet long, "Could I have your autograph! Oh, and could you put it here," she pointed a place on the paper, "I want it right next to Humphrey Bogart."

"Not now!" Syen yelled, "We've Gotta go….

"Lahz?" Jim said moving over to where he thought she might be, "Do you know what's going on?" He looked about at nothing, "Lahz" He felt someone kicked his rump,

"I'm behind you, Idiot!" Jim was slightly shocked, how the heck could she see?

"I know what you thinking And I can see you because I have magic seeing invisible things I stole from Cosmo, so don't freak out."

"Okay. Whatever." Mumbled Jim.

"Now!" Plankton said, "Do you love our hair?" Cried of yes, and oh yeah, and dapple moo-moo, came up from the assembled group. "If," Plankton said, "You put these buckets on your head, your hair will become so beautiful that everyone will want to date you!"

"Everyone already does." Legolas mumbled.

"Cool!" Yelled Cosmo grabbing a bucket, and putting it on his head, "Look, I'm a king, ha-ha!"

Plankton made an evil laugh, "Now everyone take a…" a knock on the wall mad him stop his evil guffaw. "Um-is this the convention, I think I'm late."

Plankton groaned, and pushed a big red button, that said push. A blonde haired, duh man came in, Plankton sighed, "Name." he said blankly.

"Fredric?"

"Okay, how 'bout, Where do you come from?"

"England."

"Aw!" Raoul yelled, "Enemy!"

"Aw!" Fredric yelled, "Traitor!"

Raoul scratched his head, "But, I was never in England!"

"Now, now," Legolas said, "No, fighting children."

Raoul and Fredric glared at each other.

"Now," Plankton said, "Your best friend?"

Fredric looked thoughtful, "That would Mabel."

"Okay, arch enemy?"

"Hmmm, I'm kinda friends with everyone,"

Cosmo jumped up and down, "Oh, oh, we're twins!"

Plankton cleared his throat, "Okay that's all sit down, we were about to put these buckets on our heads."

"Oh, no." Lahz muttered, this is not good,"

"Why?" Jim asked, "There only being dorks."

"Those helmets contain chemical 38475!"

"So?"  
"It makes them…." But before Lahz could educate Jim in the poison, it happened, Plankton pushed button, and all at once…the roof cracked open?

"Geronimo!" Syen yelled as she landed right on Raoul head. And in this confusion Valjean, Mizamour, and Enjy all fell through roof….er-rock. "What!" Plankton screamed as Admiral Ducky tore the buckets off of the angel's heads. "You are scum Plankton!" Mizamour cried….

"Nice lair." Erik stated,

"Um-thanks," Merlin said, "Only, I like to call it a Lab."

"Whatever makes you feels the most comfortable." Erik said with a shrug.

"Please make yourself feel at home." Maidenhair said taking a stack of books about ten feet tall off of the settee. "Just sit." Maiden said again, as she dropped books everywhere.

"Aw!" Merlin screamed, "Those are my books on Alemchy!"

"Whatever." Erik muttered…

TBC…..


End file.
